I believe people in their twenties fall into two different buckets when it comes to navigating the twenties. Bucket A are the people who think their twenties is a time for exploration, discovery, and screw ups. This group of twenty-somethings believes time is on their side and that they don’t have to rush to make big decisions until they hit their thirties. Maybe this means trying out different career paths or dipping in and out of romantic relationships. These Bucket A folks are always searching and are not bothered by the lack of answers. They believe their twenties are for self-discovery and self- innovation. 

Bucket B people are also exploring, but their exploration has a deadline. They navigate their twenties as if they’re on a tight schedule. These folks are afraid that if they aren’t thirty, with a solid 401K, engagement ring and a key to a single family home, they’re failing. This bucket of twenty-somethings is always running to accomplish more before the decade is over. 

When I was in my twenties, I definitely fell into Bucket B. I thought I had to be in my dream job, married, and happy by the time I was thirty. I didn’t know that by twenty-nine most people are barely figuring out key components of their personality. One book that helped me navigate my twenties was The Defining Decade: Why your Twenties Matter & How to Make the Most of Them by Meg Jay. I feel like the author was talking to the Bucket B people because she presented points as to why the decade of the twenties is important and should not be dealt with passively. The author encourages people to think seriously about where they’re spending their time so they can plant seeds for their long term career and seeds to start a family. She also talks about how people that meander through their twenties with little thought, may miss out on opportunities that are necessary for the next stage of their lives. Ultimately, she argues that the decisions you make about love, career and money in your twenties can impact you for better or worse in the next decade. 

I do wish Meg Jay spoke more to the Bucket B people, those of us that were so freaked out about having everything figured out in their twenties. I think it’s important to understand that the twenties isn’t just an opportunity to get ahead with love or finances, but also a time to spend time with oneself. It takes time to sit with yourself and understand your likes and dislikes. Your twenties also gives you the time to try new things and make mistakes. It allows for more flexibility that we might not have at a later point in life. 

So what happens in your thirties? Do you have everything figured out? Absolutely not. Sometimes you don’t figure it out until your forties or even fifties and that’s totally okay. The important part is that you live your life to the fullest. Don’t put things off and don’t compare yourself to other people. Use your time wisely and know that your life might look different than other peoples’ lives and that’s okay. You’re not behind. You’re just navigating things at your own pace. And that’s a beautiful thing.