This is the era of the tradwives– the women who dominate our social media pages with homemade cheese-itz and multi-course dinners while wearing designer labels. The world has gravitated to the social media pages of these influencers for more than just their meals: they’re in love with their lifestyle. A few of these tradwife influencers live on homesteads (BallerinaFarmGirl), milking cows and growing organic vegetables. Watching these women live more traditional lifestyles allows viewers to indulge in the simple life, which is a life that people in our overstimulated society crave. 

Although each tradwife has her own signature aesthetic and hobby, they all juggle the chaos of being a stay-at-home mom while looking fabulous. The reason for their popularity is often debated. Some say that women long for the traditional role of homemaker and therefore are drawn to accounts where they can imagine themselves in the role of the baker/chef/supermom/farm girl. Others believe that their massive followings come from their detractors– people who are there to debate the plausibility of it all. 

I’m somewhere in the middle: I believe people are truly interested in getting to know and even emulate these tradwives, but I believe the tradwives are not showing everything happening behind the scenes.

Behind the Curtain

It’s my theory that behind every popular tradwife account is a hardworking team. Whether she keeps a nanny, cameraman, or a cleaning lady, I believe all popular tradwives have people supporting them. The Nara Smiths and Hannah Neelemans of the online world cannot possibly deal with the demands of a two year old while filming such elaborate content. In their sixty second videos, we see these women pulling things from the garden and cooking up elaborate dishes that the rest of us would just buy from the grocery store. What we never see or hear from them is the who. Who is looking over the little ones who are not school age? Who does the dishes after such elaborate meals? They never explain their filming schedules or how they have time to do all the grocery shopping or even just the research needed to prepare their dishes. 

People don’t realize that the dream they have of being a stay at home wife and mother while living out their hobbies and making money for it on social media isn’t for the weak: it’s hard work! I don’t think it’s mere fantasy or folly; I think it’s a business. I think the influencers that are flaunting a lifestyle focused on family, good food, and sometimes fashion, are actually themselves engaged in a job that takes several hours a day to plan and produce, and yields thousands of dollars which enables them to hire a behind-the-scenes team (video editor, cleaner or nanny).

Hard Truths

Which brings me to my main point: tradwives haven’t created a lifestyle that is attainable for the average girl. I think tradwives have created a lifestyle that can only be possible with resources and help. Women that are choosing to live a traditional homemaker lifestyle need to envision that type of life separate from what they see on instagram. If that’s the type of lifestyle you want, try talking to the older generation who have walked in the footsteps of the tradwife without resources. Don’t follow the dreams of others that are found on social media: do the research and figure out what is actually possible.  Social media hides truths that the rest of us need time to uncover.