Religious guilt is something many of us carry quietly, shaping the way we perceive ourselves, our faith, and our place in the world. As a hijabi, that guilt can be amplified by the constant pressure to represent Islam perfectly, a standard that feels impossible at times. The hijab, a deeply personal expression of faith, can often make us targets of unfair scrutiny, both within and outside our communities. There’s a heavy weight placed on Muslims to embody perfection—while society looks for any sign of imperfection to criticize.

But it’s important to recognize that guilt itself is a testament to our faith. It shows that we are true believers, caring about something much greater than ourselves. We feel guilty because we hold ourselves accountable, and that is an indication of a heart that is connected to Allah (SWT). Our mistakes do not define us—what truly defines us is how we respond after those mistakes, how we seek Allah's (SWT) forgiveness and strive to do better.

As much as I appreciate my deen, being visibly Muslim adds to the growing pressure of being the “perfect muslim”. In a world that constantly tempts us to conform to its norms, many find themselves judging their own actions harshly—whether it's wearing makeup or not fully embracing trust in Allah (SWT) during difficult times.

Many of us feel guilty for not being the "perfect" Muslim, guilty for not always having the tawakkul (trust) that we know we should. Though what has helped me the most is reminding myself that this guilt is not a sign of failure, but of faith. It shows that my heart is still connected to Allah, that I still care deeply about my relationship with Him. And that should be honored, not criticized. 

As hijabis, the weight we carry goes beyond personal faith—it’s the responsibility of being a visible representative of Islam. Every action, every word, every misstep can feel magnified, as though we are always being watched and judged not just as individuals, but as reflections of our entire faith. It’s an exhausting burden to bear, knowing that a single mistake could reinforce someone’s negative perception of Islam. This constant awareness of our deen in public makes us hyper-conscious, not just of our actions but of how they might be perceived. It’s a pressure that can sometimes make us feel as though we have to be perfect, as though the reputation of Islam rests on our shoulders alone. But that is not the case. Islam is so much bigger than any one of us. Our journey, like anyone else's, is about intention, effort, and sincerity. It’s about acknowledging that we are human, and that our love for Allah (SWT)—and the love He has for us—is not diminished by our imperfections. We need to remind ourselves and each other that being a hijabi does not mean being faultless, but being on a journey of faith with love and understanding as our guiding principles.

However, the question still stands: why must we bear this burden alone? Where is the love, the compassion, the understanding that God intended for all of us? As an ummah, we should be supporting one another, especially those of us on this visible journey of faith. Islam teaches us to assume the best of our fellow Muslims, to show them the grace and understanding we hope to receive ourselves. Every hijabi, every muslim, has their own path, their own struggles, their own relationship with Allah (SWT). And it’s a relationship that deserves respect, not judgment.

Unfortunately, within our own Muslim community, there is often an absence of this support. Instead, we find ourselves criticizing one another, bringing each other down. It’s become too common for both men and women to criticize others for not wearing the hijab "properly" or for not practicing Islam in the way they believe is correct. We see people creating their own rulings and shaming those who don't meet their standards. Bullying each other online, publicly pointing out perceived flaws, or ridiculing others for their choices—this is not the ummah Allah (SWT) intended for us. 

Islam is a religion of peace. Allah (SWT) does not want us to tear one another down; our community was built to lift one another other up. The Prophet (PBUH) taught us the wisdom in addressing mistakes privately, with kindness and respect, as this is how we maintain trust and love within our community. Public shaming only builds division and bitterness, and we are warned against this because it creates a divide in our ummah and builds unhealthy relationships with guilt and one's deen. 

We should be striving to build an ummah based on unity, where we encourage each other to grow in our faith, not alienate one another. The goal is not to push people away or make them feel unworthy, but to support them through their personal struggles. Whether it’s someone on their modesty journey or someone struggling with a different aspect of their deen, it is not our place to publicly criticize or judge. Instead, we should remind ourselves of the Qur’an’s guidance: "The believers are but one brotherhood, so make peace between your brothers. And be mindful of Allah so you may be shown mercy." (Qur'an 49:10). 

One of the most beautiful aspects of our faith is the emphasis on personal growth. The guilt we feel, though painful, is a reminder that we are still striving to be better, that our hearts are alive and receptive. "And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him." (Qur'an 65:3). I often return to this verse when I feel overwhelmed by my worries about the future and life as whole. I know that Allah has already written my story, perfectly tailored to me. My job is to trust in Him, even when it feels hard and I am most guilt ridden or self conscious. 

Guilt, in its many forms, becomes a constant companion for so many of us. For some, it surfaces when they think about past mistakes, and fearing that Allah (SWT) won’t forgive them. But it's important to remind ourselves, that's only insecurity speaking—not our faith. Allahs (SWT) mercy is vast, His forgiveness boundless. As long as we are sincere in our repentance and strive not to repeat our mistakes, we are truly admired in God's eyes. The Qur'an reassures us: “Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'” (Qur'an 39:53). 

In this way, guilt is not a fault, but a blessing. It’s the first step towards repentance and growth. If we feel guilty, it means we are aware of our actions, and that awareness can lead us back to Allah. When we acknowledge our guilt, instead of ignoring it, we give ourselves the opportunity to become better, to strengthen our connection to our faith. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about constantly striving, constantly turning back to Allah, and knowing that His mercy is always there for us.

Allah (SWT) wants us to trust, love, and grow with one another, not be divided by harsh perspectives and judgment. We should strive to embody the peace and compassion that Islam teaches. If we, as a community, can foster understanding and support, then we become stronger as an ummah. We can help each other, grow together, and guide each other closer to Allah, as He intended. This quiet struggle, this guilt, is not a weakness but a reminder of the sincerity within us. It is proof that we are still reaching, still holding on, and still trying to be the best versions of ourselves in the eyes of Allah (SWT), even when the world feels overwhelming. It’s in reaching that, our true strength lies.